Blog Tour

Blog Tour: Texts From Dad by Peter Barber (Extract)

Hey guys. Today is my stop on the blog tour for Texts From Dad by Peter Barber and I am bringing you an extract from the book. Enjoy!

Texts From Dad by Peter Barber
Genre: Non Fiction
Published by: Clink Street Publishing
Pages: 138
Release date: 27/08/2020
Where to find: Goodreads | Amazon
Summary: Hilarious account detailing 57 days of corona virus lockdown by way of daily texts to his daughter that ended up going viral.

Bringing a smile by taking a different view. Introducing humour and leading the reader through a slow realisation that we have all been affected in the funniest ways if only we would stop to think about it.

After the first page a smile will creep across your face, by page two you will be hooked.

Written by A technophobic old fart that has trouble programming a dishwasher who was pushed into writing a blog using modern technology during forced isolation. Funny, or insane? You decide.

Peter is a Carnivore with vegetarian tendencies. (Sometimes meat needs a garnish). BBQ enthusiast, Father to a wayward daughter, Husband to a fiery Greek philosopher and muse. Owner of two unfit overweight dogs, part time writer and full-time couch potato.

Laugh at him, or with him. Either way, you will probably end up laughing at yourself too.

EXTRACT

DAY 1

Lockdown

24th March 2020

I’m trapped! A prisoner. House arrest. Confined to barracks. Only allowed to drive to supermarkets, nowhere else. Only allowed to walk once a day but stay close to home but not drive there.

Yesterday Boris Johnson made his televised announcement that Great Britain is now closed. After weeks of dithering he has finally announced the following new rules.

  1. Stay at home.
  2. Go shopping only for basic necessities.
  3. One form of exercise a day – either alone or with members of your household.
  4. Leave home only for medical need or to provide care, or help vulnerable person.
  5. Travel to work – but only if necessary and you cannot work from home

This has been coming for a couple of weeks. Last week he announced that although the pubs can remain open, nobody should go there. Restaurants and theatres should be avoided at all costs, but still allowed to remain open.

Prior to this, the main government advice was to wash your hands while singing Happy Birthday twice.

Now everything must close. No more football, no more TV sport, no more of wandering aimlessly around the shops to buy tat that you don’t need. What will we do with our time? By the way. What are basic necessities? I hope it includes beer.

Schools started to close on the 18th March. Restaurants were forced to close on 20th March, and my favourite pub closed its doors at Friday 20th March at seven minutes past eight. I distinctly remember the time because my watch broke while I was being dragged by my feet away from the bar, leaving furrows on the wood from my fingernails whilst trying to cling on for a few more minutes begging for just one more beer.

So, I can’t go to work. Disappointed that I can’t go to the gym. I did join over a year ago on a sudden impulse to get in shape but never went. But I would have liked to start now but that’s closed too. I can always assure my wife that I was going to get in shape, but the government wouldn’t let me. That may work.

As I will have to stay at home, I will need to plan this very carefully. Very soon my wife will start to realise that I will be sitting around doing nothing and start getting ideas of how to keep me occupied. This is likely to include gardening and home improvements. I already have the excuse that no hardware shops will be open so will probably get away with decorating. Getting out of digging the garden will be a little more challenging but it might rain, I hope.

Boris has promised an update on the lockdown in three weeks. This will certainly be extended. I think we are likely to be trapped for at least two months, so we need to start getting used to it. Quietly looking forward to doing nothing for a while anyhow.

Author Information

Peter Barber is a 63-year-old Company director and technophobic that has trouble programming a dishwasher. He was pushed into writing a daily blog by his daughter using modern technology during forced coronavirus lockdown. These daily texts quickly became viral and spread to a worldwide readership.

Peter loves to make people laugh and sees humour in even the most mundane activities. New methods of greeting are discussed as handshakes are no longer fashionable. Worrying about what is classified as an essential item when out shopping and praying that it includes beer.  Claims that 5G towers transmit Covid-19 are discussed and examined together with proposals that UV light combined with bleach injections could protect us from the virus.

Peter is a Carnivore with vegetarian tendencies. (Sometimes meat needs a garnish). BBQ enthusiast, Father to a wayward daughter, Husband to a fiery Greek philosopher and muse. Owner of two unfit overweight dogs, hates walking, loves writing enjoys beer.

Peter is anti-Brexit and lives most of the time in Bedfordshire but spends as much time as possible in Greece for the weather and the company.

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